I only realized this morning that I forgot to blog last night. I had coffee with a friend too late and went on a kind of crazy cleaning binge before crashing.
Before I went to coffee I stopped by Whole Foods to do some grocery shopping for the week, and even the best coupon clippers would have been jealous: I spent exactly $0!
I grabbed a hand basket (I walk there so I need to make sure I can physically carry my stuff home, so I can’t use a cart) and made my way to the butcher counter. It was packed. Not busy, but Walmart on a double-coupon-free-TV-with-purchase-Black-Friday insane. I decided I would come back if this mob scene was not, in fact, a sign of the apocalypse.
I then went to the produce section. Veggies! I looked at the broccoli and almost gagged. I am not sure I can physically eat another piece of broccoli. I have hit the broccoli wall.
Then I saw a bunch of other veggies that are either off limits or I don’t know what they are and was too lazy/burnt-out to google recipes. I moved on.
There were a few (literally 2) beat up zucchinis on the shelf and a cucumber that was a bit soft. Yuck.
Basket still empty.
I went to see if they had the orangey tulips, surely that would inspire a shopping trip worthy of Top Chef: IP Edition. No luck. I look silly with this empty basket.
Back to the butcher, which has calmed down to regular Black Friday pandemonium. I decide I HATE chicken. Raw chicken is the grossest thing ever. What psychopath saw raw chicken and decided to cook and eat it in the first place? I have shivers just thinking about it. I don’t have a grill or great ventilation in my kitchen, so red meat and fish are kind of out. I go to the prepared food section with a coupon that someone handed me for sauce.
At the salad bar I’m reminded of how bad I am at assembling salads, and nothing looks appealing anyways. On to eggs.
I had eggs for breakfast. I also had a bit of eggshell in my eggs. Can not stomach the thought of eggs after the bit of eggshell was surely trying to kill me. I turn around to see the trail mix bar and start having glorious day dreams about yogurt covered pretzels. I walk my basket with the coupon in it back to the front door, drop it off, and head home.
And that is the story of how I successfully spent zero dollars at Whole Foods.