Get back up and dust yourself off

Today I decided to share some of the “dark side” of my journey…

My eldest daughter just turned 15 last week, and in lieu of a Quinceañera (think debutante ball, but for 1 girl, it’s a Mexican tradition), she asked for a car when she turns 16.

Because 15th birthdays are a major milestone in my Mexican culture, I didn’t want this birthday to go by without some sort of epic celebration, so my best friend (of 22 years, and godmother to my girls) and I planned a girls trip to Disneyland with our daughters. She has the most wonderful (4year old) daughter who is SUPER close with 2 of my girls (12 and 15 years old), so it was a real treat for us to get away for 3 full days, and 3 full nights, to just let loose.

But what does that mean for my diet and progress, you ask? Well, because I only had 3 weeks before my trip, my coach advised me to not phase off and to instead stay on-plan, and forgive myself for the treats I really wanted most. Sounded ok. I WAS hoping to phase off to try things I’d never tried, but I didn’t have enough time for a proper phase off.

So, D(isney)Day comes, and off we went, driving through the night, to get to the most magical place in California. Hubby didn’t like the thought of me eating on plan with the amount of walking and exercise, and the sudden heat wave, and my “monthly visitor arriving” all at once.

*side note for those who aren’t aware, I have a condition known as Anhidrosis, which the inability to produce sweat. Sounds amazing, but it’s a terrible thing. I have suffered from heatstroke in 68• weather, at the beach. If I am exposed to the sun for more than a few minutes on a “warm” day, I can end up needing emergency services. I don’t tolerate heat well at all, and if it’s sunny out with no wind, anything over 65 can be troublesome. The day we were she used to arrive at Disneyland had originally been forecasted as a 77• day, which was cause for a raised eyebrow, but by the time we arrived, the forecast updated and predicted a 91• day, and temperatures actually hit 96• that day, so it was a really rough day for me.*

Hubby decided I should try switching to low carb the week of our trip, and allowing myself to eat what I could stomach/what I craved while at Disneyland. This was a pro’s and con’s moment for me:

pro’s:

  • eat more foods I normally wouldn’t.
  • Peace of mind for my husband who is currently working 80+ hour weeks and getting nearly no time off-and will be working this schedule at least until mid-July, so he’s stressed out to the max.
  • Share food with my bestie and our girls, so I can try things without over-doing it.

Cons:

  • Breaking diet
  • Not properly phasing off
  • Would I create new cravings or obstacles?
  • Possibly setting myself back by gaining some weight

In the end, I decided it made the most sense for me to do as he asked. I know, it sounds like excuses, and on some level, maybe it was. I just couldn’t bear the thought of him stressing at all because of me.

So…I ate things I wouldn’t normally eat on phase 1. I ate prosciutto wrapped cheese, lettuce wrapped burgers-WITH BACON, Caesar salad with Parmesan cheese, and then the park food…oh my. I ate a breakfast sandwich, jambalaya, roasted chicken with rice, 1/2 of a dole whip, scrambled eggs, bacon, a biscuit with butter, a single serving of pirate’s booty, another lettuce wrapped bacon burger, 2 sodas, a diet soda, and a Stromboli. Wow. Just…wow.

I felt guilty when I got home that Thursday. I felt like I “needed to transition back into ketosis by doing low-carb”….or, that was my excuse anyway. I did low-carb until Sunday night, and since today is Tuesday, I’ve only been back on P1 for 2 days. Luckily, I transition easily, my monthly visitor has left, and I feel great…but let’s see what the scale says. Now, NOW, I’m nervous. Wednesday is the day I usually go in for my weekly weigh-ins, and Renée invited me to an IP event on Saturday and told me I could do my weigh in and food pick-up then, but I still plan to drop in tomorrow to check the scale. I need to know what I have done to myself.

I am relieved, however, that my guilt isn’t so bad. I slipped, but I picked myself back up again. I am still motivated, excited, and ready to give this my all. So wish me luck for tomorrow, though no matter what the scale says, I will remain positive and in charge of me.

Enjoy a couple of photos from the trip!

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