Denial Begets Carbs

I am way on the wagon.  So, in the month or so that I was off the wagon and being naughty, I gained a bit of weight, thankfully a lot of it was water.  In the first week back on the wagon I thankfully undid about 90% of that damaged.  Whew.

I’m still working through a huge list of issues with my shrink.  One of the biggest things I am having to deal with is whether or not to confront my father about everything. The question in whether or not to confront him about it lies in how he would react and would his reaction be worth it. Still grappling with that one. In all my reflection I believe that he would not be apologetic, and he’d just kind of brush me off and ignore me and pretend it didn’t happen. I believe he doesn’t know or understand what he has put me through which is the worst part of it all. Ugh no fun.

In FUN IP updates, one sign that I am feeling good about myself is when I start becoming a little more vain and high maintenance. I know when I am not feeling good about myself I end up putting my hair in a messy ponytail, no makeup, a frumpy outfit, and mostly like I have given up – which is how I feel in my lows. I know I am feeling groovy back on this wagon by the amount of time and effort I have put into buffing and polishing and curling and all that fun girly stuff.

I’m starting this week feeling good about myself and confident that this will be another good week for me in regards to IP. I am also going to continue to try to deal with the no-fun dad stuff and to acknowledge it rather than be in denial about it and gloss over it because denial leads to carbs. Fact.



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