This is hard to write.  I want to be successful, and in many ways I am.  I successfully lost weight, and I kept it off for nearly a year.  Then three months ago, I lost steam.  I stopped caring, and I let the stress of life take over.  In those three months I have gained between 15 and 20 pounds.  The cravings for sugar have been horrendous. If I knew why I did this to myself, I wouldn’t be in this situation.  I would never have needed Ideal Protein in the first place.

So why write this blog?  Because I KNOW I am not alone.  This struggle is real, for all of us.  We did not get here because of a lack of willpower.  We did not gain weight because we didn’t work out enough.  I can only speak for myself.  I did not gain weight because I ate too much.  I gained weight because when I am stressed, the only thing that appeals to me are carbs.

I am not making an excuse.  I know that exercise helps build endorphins, and endorphins help with stress.  But when the blues hit, it’s hard to climb out of bed, let alone push to work out.  And when the stress is money related, it’s VERY easy to say I can’t afford IP, and I can do it on my own.

For me, the answer really is, NO, I can’t.  I can’t do this alone.  I need that support.  I could eat an alternative program, but it won’t give me the same results.  I can beat myself up, or I can suck it up.  My body hurts.  My tummy is swollen from the crap I have been eating.  My energy level is in the tank.  I went from drinking one cup of coffee a day to 7, just to try and stay awake.  I have taken to wearing stretchy pants and t-shirts again, because I can’t button my pants.  They fit, so that must mean I haven’t gained that much, right?  So easy to play the mind game.

So here I am, pouring my heart out, and hoping that if you read this, and are in the same boat, you can feel my love.  We are not alone.  It’s time to make an appointment with the coach.  It’s time to ask for help.  Whether its 5 pounds or everything gained back, we begin again.  It’s really hard to put myself out there.  It’s hard to admit that I lost my way.  I have an amazing support system.  My coach, my family, my friends.  I have a few jerks who have said, “I knew you would gain again.”  For me, that was what broke the spell.  Holy crap… I am gaining!!!!  Please, help me… I can’t do this to myself.

Big girl panties pulled up… It’s time to face reality.  I am worth more than 7 cups of coffee, a potato, or a cookie.  I deserve not to be in physical pain from all the extra weight.  Yeah, Ideal Protein may not be cheap, but it costs a lot less than losing my self-esteem, health, and wellbeing.  Just made my appointment with my coach!!!!  Feeling determined!