Stress and best laid plans

Ever get so stressed out that your best laid plans flew out the window? That has been my week.
I had everything laid out, I went to the grocery store, bought all my food, organized my closet so that I knew what I was going to wear each day this week, and was READY.

And then they dug a hole in my driveway, blocked me in so I couldn’t go anywhere, then when I did get out, I couldn’t get back in. I fell behind on things, calls from loved ones who were having massive issues, and truly needed help. Everywhere I turned I felt like I was letting myself and everyone around me down.

And then something amazing happened. I sat down and cried. How is that amazing? Because I gave myself permission to cry. I let myself have the space to take the ragged breath that comes with tears. And in that moment, I knew I had to take control of me, because I sure as hell couldn’t control anything else.

I started small… strange as it seems, but I began by taking all the trash out of my house. Then I did laundry. Then I organized my sock drawer. Then I cleaned my refrigerator…. and I could see the progress I made. I pulled out my food for the day, put it in order, and moved it into place that was easy to access (instead of the back of the fridge.)

Slowly, I started to feel better about myself, and things around me. All the drama, it seemed more manageable (what I needed to manage anyway) and it gave me enough peace to let go of what isn’t mine.

I’ve had a lot of people ask how I am maintain, and what I am doing to keep the positive changes in my life. Here it is. I work at keeping myself focused. I try to bring myself back to center when life spins out of control. And I try to do it using something that will make me feel positive about the choices.

It’s easy to blow it all out of proportion and pick up something decadent and say “Oh well, I failed at everything else today.” But that just leaves you in a spiral. And that isn’t why I spent 7 months on phase 1. It takes strict adherence to a day of phase 1, a day of phase 2, and then back to phase 3 for a few days… If I am going through that kind of effort for a splurge… I want it to be accompanied with zero guilt and total satisfaction!

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