Fatty McFatface

In 2016, a British government agency decided to let the internet choose the new name for their $287 million polar research ship. As ideas from people came swarming in, one name in particular became extremely popular, Boaty McBoatface. Votes poured in for Boaty McBoatface and the government agency had no idea that such a distinguished vessel would potentially have such a silly and undistinguished name.  They were then faced with either honoring their word by letting “the people” name the boat or to override the decision and name the boat something that showed its power and tradition.  Opting to overrule “the people” the new ship became Royal Research Ship (RSS) Sir David Attenborough (an English broadcaster and naturalist). To still honor the request of those that voted, the British government agency decided to name a submersible vehicle (not a boat) Boaty McBoatface.

In my head, I have always been Fatty McFatface.  I don’t necessarily say it outloud but I certainly have thought it for most of my life, even when I wasn’t even fat.  Dress shopping for my 8th grade dance, I remember feeling huge compared to my friends as I shopped for my size 7 cocktail dress. I would often joke about my appearance to others to counter what I perceived were their thoughts real or not.  I would look in the mirror post college silently shouting terrible things to myself. I have lived in the shadow of my own negative thoughts, never mentally representing who I really was, fat or no fat.

One thing I have been trying to work on as I have been doing Ideal Protein, is to try and change the “name” I call myself. Losing weight easily helps me view myself in a more positive light, but the negative comments haven’t necessarily slowed.  They have just shifted to different focuses. My goal as I get healthier and make better choices for my life is to truly see and embrace myself for all of me, faults and all.  I have lived 40 years and I am tired of not being comfortable in my own skin. Just as Boaty McBoatface didn’t represent the power and tradition of this multi-million dollar British research ship, Fatty McFatface doesn’t represent me.  I need to find a new name for myself, one that shows MY power, MY journey, MY courage, and all of me.

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